What Is A Woman Part 5
What Is A Woman Part 5
In my last blog, I discussed the attitude that is key to living out biblical womanhood. It is an attitude of selfless service to glorify God. In this installment of my blog, I will get more practical about what that looks like in every-day life. Please read my prior posts in this series if you missed them. They are really important since I am building on the concepts discussed in prior posts.
I want to remind you that God is a God of order and that is reflected in His creation. Therefore, the world is full of authority structures He designed. One of those is that men are in a place of leadership and women should voluntarily follow the worthy men in their lives. This arrangement is not a result of toxic masculinity, or the patriarchy, but comes from our Creator Himself. See my part 3 in this series for a more in depth discussion of this. The sin in our world has obviously corrupted the relationships between men and women, and it is quite ugly and cruel at times. That is not a flaw in the original design, but rather comes from the innate sin in each man and woman. To redeem those relationships, we need to return to the original design of the Creator. This concept is going to be increasingly important to understand as we discuss more practical aspects of biblical womanhood.
I want to repeat the definition of Biblical Womanhood I shared in my last blog that is from the book Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood:
“At the heart of mature femininity is a freeing disposition to affirm, receive and nurture strength and leadership from worthy men in ways appropriate to a woman’s differing relationships.”
I said at the end of my last blog that I would address the women’s role in her home. But I realize that first I need to address a very important topic that applies in all situations: how women seeking to honor God in our womanhood and new life in Christ should dress.
When Adam and Eve were created, they were naked and unashamed. (Genesis 1:25) But when they chose to disobey God, and plunged the whole human race into sin, it created a need for clothing. The first thing that Adam and Eve did after they sinned that first time was to make covering for themselves because they were suddenly ashamed of their nakedness. From then on nakedness is associated with shame in the Bible, except in the context of the sexual relations of a married man and woman.
That explains why we need clothing, but what kind of clothing should women wear? What does the Bible say on the topic?
I Timothy2:9-10 “Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments; but rather by means of good works, as befits women making a claim to godliness.”
I Peter3:3-4 “And let not your adornment be merely external-braiding the hair and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”
Deuteronomy22:5 “A woman shall not wear a man’s clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman’s clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God.”
2Corinthians 5:9, it says, “Therefore we have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him.”
1Corinthians 10:31 “Whether then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
1Corinthians 6:19-20 “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you have been bought with a price; therefore glorify God in your body.”
Romans14:12-13, says, “Each of us shall give an account to God…and we should resolve not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother's way.”
From these verses, I want to give you some basic principles for how women who follow Christ should dress:
1. Dress to please God, and not to attract attention to yourself. We attract attention to ourselves in how we dress in various ways, but here are some examples: by being immodest, showy, sloppy or inappropriate to the occasion or the weather. What we wear shows the world what is in our heart. Do we follow Christ or the world? Are we trying to bring attention to ourselves, or are we trying to honor Christ? Barbara Hughes in the book Disciplines of a Godly Woman says this, “Christian women dress to please God. As Christ changes our hearts, we hear His voice above the clamoring of fashion magazines and promises of power.” (page 91-92)
2. Your inward character is far more important to God than your outward appearance. In the above verses, you see that a woman should adorn herself with a gentle and quiet spirit, and also with good works. Here are a few other verses that highlight the inward qualities we need to put on in our lives: Ephesians 4:24, Ephesians 6:11, Romans 13:12 and 14, Colossians 3:12-14, and I Peter 5:5. All that we do should be to glorify God. God is not telling us to ignore our outward appearance, but rather to make our focus our inward character. In Proverbs 31, the passage that details the ideal woman of God, we see in verse 22 that she wears fine clothing. Yet she is given this praise in verse 30: “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” Fine clothing is not wrong, as long as it is done appropriately and with a fear of the Lord.
3. You cannot dress like a man. There is no ambiguity on this one in the Deuteronomy passage above. Women need to dress like women because the Creator asks us to. He wants the differences He created in gender to be shown in appearance. Barbara Hughes (in the book I mentioned above) says this: “As our hearts are changed, we increasingly cherish being a woman. Have you thanked God for making you a female? If not, stop now and do so. Begin to make a habit of it. Rather than worshipping womanhood, worship its Creator! A heart of gratitude will surely begin to be reflected in your appearance. Your heart will be drawing from a source above the world around you-the life giving source of the Word of God.” (page 92)
4. Do not dress in a way that brings temptation to a man who is not your husband. We are commanded in the Romans passage above not to put a stumbling block in a brother’s way. The reality is that men are attracted and enticed by what they see. In the Bible, it is clear that men are absolutely responsible to think pure thoughts and to flee impure thoughts, but we are also responsible to not dress in a way that entices men to think impure thoughts. I think many women who dress immodestly are naïve about how what they wear affects men. As Christians, we need to be aware of these things in order to please God in our dress.
How do we practically apply this?
1. Questions to ask when reviewing your wardrobe for modesty: Pam Hardy, who is the wife of the pastor who married Andrew and me, gave a talk on modesty quite awhile ago. The link to her full message is below. In the message linked below, she encourages us to ask 3 questions in order to discern whether we should be wearing something or should reject it. “Is it too short? Is it too tight? Is it too low?” She also says, “To the married ladies here, just remember that marriage was designed by God and God designed a woman’s body to be beautiful and attractive to her spouse and only to her spouse. But to dress in public in a way that is alluring to other men is wrong.”
2. We need to ask ourselves who we are dressing for. Are we dressing to please God or attract attention? See I Corinthians 10:31 and I Corinthians 6:19-20 above. We need to examine our hearts and our wardrobe. I want to clarify that I am not suggesting that we all dress alike. We don’t need to be like the Amish. We all have different skin tones, and different body types. We definitely don’t all look good in the same things. Find a style of dressing that you feel comfortable and confident in that is modest and feminine. I find it really hard to forget about myself if I feel self-conscious about what I am wearing. When we leave the house we should be able to forget about ourselves and serve others. So, find clothes that you feel good enough about wearing that you can forget about yourself once you leave the house.
3. Is what we are going to wear appropriate for the situation? It would be very disrespectful to a bride and groom to show up to a wedding in sweaty workout clothes, or even clean workout clothes. It would also be completely impractical to wear our finest dress when going on a hike. It also attracts attention to ourselves if we are not dressed appropriately for the occasion.
4. Are we neat and clean? It seems silly to have to mention this, but we will be attracting attention to ourselves, and are disrespectful to others if we are not neat and clean when we leave the house. Obviously, spills can happen after we leave the house, but we need to start off with a neat and clean appearance. It tells people that we care about them. Our society is strangely ok with people being sloppy and slovenly. But it shows others that they are not worthwhile enough to clean up for. Remember that at the heart of biblical womanhood is a desire to love and serve others. That begins with dressing in a way that shows respect for other people.
5. Are we willing to show to the world in our appearance that we delight in the fact that God made us women? This relates to the command in Deuteronomy not to dress like a man. We need to do the complete opposite of dressing like a man. We need to dress wholeheartedly like a woman. No one should look at us and wonder if we are a man or a woman. This is especially important to do this in a society that wants to eliminate gender differences. Styles that are distinctly feminine have changed over the years dramatically. Now, many women wear pants most of the time. There is nothing wrong with that, but we just need to make sure that we look feminine when we wear pants. I also encourage you to consider embracing wearing dresses and skirts, which are one of the few things that are distinctly feminine in our culture. I love wearing dresses and skirts, and am always surprised that more women in the church don’t wear them more often. It is a great way to show the world that you delight in your God given womanhood.
6. Are we willing to ask for advice? If you are struggling with this issue, ask a godly woman to help you with this. She can help advise you on the appropriateness of your wardrobe, as well as help you shop for appropriate items. It can be a challenge to find modest clothing. But, many of us have been doing it for decades and know how to go about doing it. The internet makes it SO much easier than it was when I first started buying my own clothes. The internet was not around then. Now there are some great clothing websites that sell modest clothing at reasonable prices. It is also very helpful to know how to sew. I have altered many outfits slightly to make them modest enough. I add fabric to the top or the bottom, or add snaps to the inside of my shirts to keep them from gaping open.
7. Do we consider Jesus as worthy enough to dress differently for? As1 Corinthians 6:20 tells us: “we have been bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body.” Dressing in a way that is modest and pleases God is not an option. We have been rescued from the kingdom of darkness and transferred to the kingdom of God’s beloved Son because of Christ’s death and resurrection on the cross. Jesus gave His life on the cross to save us from your sins. He suffered agony for us. Can we not do this small thing of changing our clothing to reflect our new life in Christ and our new love for Him? If a woman is not willing, she needs to examine her heart to see if she is truly even saved by Jesus. She needs to come to Him and beg for a heart change.
8. We need to pray about our clothing choices. Nancy DeMoss gives us this prayer to pray about clothes: “Lord, this body of mine belongs to You. I desire to bring You glory and honor through my words, my attitudes, and the way I dress. I resolve to be pure inwardly and outwardly, and I am willing, where necessary, to stand against the culture. I accept responsibility for how I dress. Help me to be teachable and to have an attitude and spirit that brings You glory through my actions and appearance.”
Link to Pam Hardy’s message on modesty:
Modesty Matters -- Pam Hardy (biblebb.com)
I am not going to tell you what I am going to discuss in my next blog, because I keep changing the topic I am going to tackle next as I am thinking over everything. You will just have to be surprised. Please let me know if you have any questions or feedback. You can email me at candice@anastasihome.com
Verses to memorize in response: I Timothy 2:9-10.