What Is A Woman Part 11
What Is A Woman Part 11:
In this final installment in this series on what the Bible says about women, I am going to address what the Bible says a woman’s role is in the church and with their parents. I encourage you to read the rest of the series before reading this installment, because there are so many concepts that build on one another.
In this series, we have seen that the Bible clearly shows how much God loves women, and has a special and privileged role for them in life that differs from the role He gave men. We have seen how at the heart of biblical womanhood and manhood is a heart of selfless service like our Lord Jesus. This heart of selfless service is going to be at the heart of a woman’s relationships in the church and with her parents.
First let’s address what the Bible says about what an adult woman’s relationship with her parents should be like:
1. If you are married, you must leave the authority of your parents and put yourself under your husband’s leadership and make the marriage relationship your most important relationship. This is the leave and cleave principle, which is brought up in quite a few passages in the Bible. Genesis 2:24 is the first passage that discusses this principle. “For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh.” I discussed in more detail what the Bible says about a woman’s role as wife in installment #9. This leave and cleave principle practically means that you have to set boundaries on the involvement your parents have in your life. You should be looking to your husband first before your parents for guidance, and for planning of what your life will be like. You should be working with your husband as a team, and not letting your parents interfere in the marriage relationship. If you are a woman who has married children, you need to respect your childrens’ marriage relationships and make sure you don’t interfere in those relationships.
2. Although an adult woman is not under her parents’ authority anymore, particularly married women, the Bible still calls her to honor her parents. We are to honor all people with respect because they are made in the image of God. However, there are special commands in the Bible to honor parents that go beyond this general respect. Ephesians 6:2-3 “Honor your father and your mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), that it may we well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.” God thought this was important enough to give us a promise of blessing attached to the commandment of honoring our parents. This commandment is repeated quite a few times. When God repeats something, He is telling us it is very important to Him. Here are some of these repetitions: Exodus 20:12; Leviticus 19:3; Deuteronomy 5:16; Matthew 15:4; Matthew 19:19; Mark 7:10; Mark 10:19; Luke 18:20. Deuteronomy27:16 goes even farther and says, “Cursed is he who dishonors his father or mother.” That is sobering. God clearly wants us to value family relationships. But what does it practically mean for us as adults to honor our parents? We can start with Jesus’s example on the cross. While He is in agony suffering under God’s wrath for our sins, He honors His mother by asking John to treat her as his own mother so that she will be taken care of. John 19:27 And it says, “From that hour the disciple took her into his own household.” What selfless love and honor Jesus showed to His mother on that day! On the Focus on the Family’s website, they define honor this way: “Honor implies choosing to give respect and care to another person-not grudgingly, but out of love and a true desire to do what’s right in the sight of God. Genuine honor is placing the highest value on our loved ones regardless of whether we agree with them or not. It also means giving them the benefit of the doubt wherever possible.” As both a daughter and a mother, I can see both sides of this issue. As an adult daughter, you want your parents to respect you and your life choices, and let you live your life without micromanagement. But as a mother of adult children, I can see that honoring your parents means seeking to be friends with your parents, showing an interest in their lives, letting them have a role in your life, showing gratitude, seeking to encourage them, praying for them, resolving conflicts that arise in a biblical way, extending grace and forgiveness for their faults, expressing concern for them, and being willing to care for them when they need help. Both parents and children are very blessed when the parent-child relationship stays strong throughout life. Parents are a great source of wisdom and help. Seek to honor God by honoring your parents. You will bring great joy both to yourself and your parents. If you haven’t been doing this, start today, and seek reconciliation in a godly way. If you are a parent who has adult children, know that you cannot make your children honor you. That has to come voluntarily from them. If your children are dishonoring you, try to make peace as much as you can, forgive them and pray mightily for God to do what He delights to do: reconciliation and restoration. With our good and mighty God there is always hope in difficult relationships. Be like the father in the story of the prodigal son who was waiting and watching for his son to come home gladly and repentant, and when he did, the father embraced him and welcomed him with joy.
Now let’s discuss the role of women in the church:
1. Women have many of the same responsibilities in the church as men. Here is one passage that describes that. I Peter 4:8-11 “Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaint. As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. Whoever speaks, let him speak, as it were, the utterances of God; whoever serves, let him do so by the strength which God supplies; so that in all things God may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom belongs the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.” Our goal is selfless service so that God will be glorified. We are not to seek fame or prominence or recognition. We seek God’s approval only and seek to be good stewards of the talents, resources and abilities He has given us. There are a bunch of commands called the “one anothers” that women and men are both called to do in the church. In the above passage we saw three of those. Here are a few more. This is by no means an exhaustive list: Bear one another’s burdens(Galatians 6:2), be subject to one another (Ephesians 5:21); show forbearance to one another (Ephesians 4:2); be kind to one another and forgive each other(Ephesians 4:32); regard one another as more important than yourself(Philippians 2:3); teach and admonish one another (Colossians 3:16); and pray for one another (James 5:16). In order to do these things, Hebrews 10:23:24-25 commands us not to forsake assembling together. Here are just a few ways we can live this out practically: We should actually get to know people so that we can know how we can help them and pray for them. We should be willing to step up and provide fora practical need, like a meal or a ride. When we come to church or Bible study, we should look for ways to encourage and serve. We can call, email, or text someone with encouragement when we know that they are going through a difficult time.
2. Women have boundaries for their service in the church. Remember that God’s plan is for worthy men to be in authority in the church and family. That includes teaching. I Timothy 2:12 “But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.” While we cannot teach men, we are to teach women and children. Titus 2:4-5 “That they (older women-see vs. 3) may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.” My church has a very large group of women that meet every Wednesday morning to study Scripture. Most of the teachers are women. It is a very encouraging time! The Bible talks a lot about married women, but single women have a key role in the church. They can be a huge support to families and to ministries in a way a married woman cannot. In fact they are commanded to do this instead of being idle and becoming busybodies (I Timothy5:1-16)
3. In their character women are to be dignified, not malicious gossips, temperate, pure, kind, workers at home, faithful in all things (I Timothy 3:11, Titus 3:5, Proverbs 31:10-31), modest in attitude and clothing (I Timothy 2:9-10), and having a gentle and quiet spirit (I Peter 3:4). Notice how opposite these qualities are to how our society wants women to be!!
Biblical womanhood is a high calling, and we cannot do this in our own strength, but we can do it with God’s strength. He promises to give us His strength in our weakness and enable us to do what He has called us to do. (I Corinthians 12:9-10) It is extremely important to make prayer and a study of God’s word a daily habit in order to live out this calling. That is where we get our direction and strength, and where we correct our unbiblical thinking that we often get unknowingly from the world around us. Today, pray that God will help you become more of who He wants you to be. Each day we have a new chance to lean on God’s strength to be who He wants us to be. None of us are perfect in how we live out our lives. We all need improvement. Don’t be discouraged if you see a lot you need to change. Ask for God’s forgiveness, which He freely gives (I John 1:9) and make practical plans of what you can do each day to change. Have someone keep you accountable to following through. God will bless you greatly as you seek to honor Him more each day.
Verses to memorize in response to this blog: Genesis 2:24 and I Peter 4:8-11
The Bible is to be our primary source of help in how to live, but there are some books I would recommend to women who are trying to figure out how to be a woman in this crazy pagan world which completely rejects biblical womanhood. Here are 4 excellent books on the subject of how to be a woman who embraces womanhood as God defines it:
A Woman After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George
Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by John Piper and Wayne Grudem
The Excellent Wife by Martha Peace
Disciplines of a Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes
May God bless you as you seek to honor Him by living according to His word, and not according to societal pressures. And may you eagerly embrace God’s design for womanhood. With that comes abundant blessing.
Please let me know if you have any questions or feedback. You can email me at candice@anastasihome.com