Part 6: Organzing your kids' activities is an essential part of parenting
Organizing your kids' lives.
Ephesians 6:1 says "Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right." God has put us in charge of their little lives, and we are instructed in Ephesians 6:4 to bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. God has given us these precious lives to teach, love and steward. The two words discipline and instruction imply work. Yes, here we are again at hard work. I am not going to discuss child rearing with you in this blog, but only organizing their activities and chores. However, this is definitely part of instructing your kids and being purposeful in training them. Your goal in child rearing is to raise them to be independent, wise young adults who can function in our world without us there to guide them.
When your children are young, you and your husband should decide what are all the activities your kids will do. You may choose to give them a small choice, such as helping you cook, or doing a puzzle. Until they are older, they should not have much power in directing their activities, simply because they do not have the wisdom or knowledge to do so. So how do you go about planning your kids’ daily activities? First you need to pray for wisdom, and discuss the major activities with your husband, so you can be agreed on things like sports involvement, etc.
Then, you need to plan. I have come to realize that if I don't plan for an activity I want to do with the kids, it doesn't happen. When my kids were babies to 5 years old, I would plan at least one activity for the day that I wanted to do with them, and when I wanted to do it. Once they were in school, I would still do this on weekends and vacations. Remember me saying in my other organizing blogs that lists are your friends? You need another list. This one is for things for the kids to do. I write these things down when I think of them (which is not usually anytime close to when we could do them). If I don't write them down, they get forgotten.
When you plan your child's activities, this includes outside activities such as which birthday parties to go to, which friends to have play-dates with and when, which other outside activities to have them involved in-such as ballet, soccer, baseball, family hikes. These things need to be thought out and planned, taking into consideration the whole family. If they are not planned out, they won't happen. Other activities that need to be planned that will happen in the home: Flash cards for math, writing thank you cards, a particular craft to do together, teaching your children to cook, piano practice, typing practice, learning to roller skate or bike, bike riding in the neighborhood (since you have to be out there with them) etc etc. Again, let me reiterate: if these things are not planned out they will not happen. Before summer vacation started, I would sit down and list out the things I wanted my kids to do that summer. Then each day, I had a plan for specific things I wanted them to do. We did not always get to all the things on the list because of intervening circumstances, but if it wasn't on the list, it would never get done. You can always just put it on the next day's list if it doesn’t get done that day.
We have special activities that we plan for on a yearly basis. We have a tradition of making a gingerbread house from scratch around Christmas. Also, one day a year until they were in high school, our kids got a skip day from school to do something fun with us. I or Andrew (we rotate who took which child each year) would take one child at a time out of school for the day and go and do something fun. I personally don't like amusement parks, so I have done other things with them. They often went to amusement parks with Andrew when it was his turn to go with them. Some examples of places I have taken the kids are the USS Midway in San Diego (that was a 2-3 hour drive there and back that day, but so worth it!). I have taken Emily to the Getty Museum, the zoo, and Descanso Gardens. These things take planning. Planning is so important!
Since I absolutely love books, I'm going to put in a special word about planning for reading good books together, and having devotions. We had a nightly routine that started before they were old enough to talk. After they were all ready for bed, we helped them with Bible memory verses, and reviewed some they had already memorized. Then we read a book together. The last thing we did was a short devotional. Then we prayed. This time together has to be planned. It won't happen unless you develop a routine. There are so many great things we have talked to them about during this time. I encourage you to plan for a time like this in your household. And let me encourage you to keep it short. It is much more effective to have a short devotional, than a long one, especially when they are little.
I have done research on good books, and read quite a lot of kids’ books myself to screen them. We have had a lot of fun reading great books together. My research has helped me know what books to direct them to read on their own. Be purposeful and intentional in directing your child's lives. If you aren't, they will just do their own thing, which is not usually very uplifting, and often is just TV or video games. And it could be dangerous for them to get involved at a young foolish age with social media with that undirected time. Expand their horizons through good books! You do have to be careful, though, because many children’s books, and particularly young adult books, are not suitable for children and are opposed to biblical values. On long car trips, we always listened to audio books. My children as adults still like to listen to audio books! At one point in my kids’ life, I was so sick, I was homebound for an entire month. During that month I developed a list of book recommendations for various ages. If you would like me to pass those on to you, let me know.
As your children get older, they should start to have increasing input in what activities they will do and how to plan their day. Teach them how to use lists themselves, and give them an opportunity to decide within reason what direction their life will take while you can still give them guidance and input. This is part of teaching them to be independent, wise adults. When my daughter was going into high school, she had been doing ballet since 1st grade. She was on pointe, and loved it. However, at that point, it was clear that she could either do ballet, or she would have to quit if you wanted to do anything else. I let her make that decision. She decided to quit so she could do some activities in high school, like cross country and choir. That ended up being a very good decision, because her cross country coach and choir director were godly mentors to her and helped her navigate high school, and helped her decide to go into teaching as a profession.
My son struggles with executive functioning skills. Teaching him how to make decisions, and to make lists and organize how he goes about tackling a project has been really important in helping him to be successful in what he does.
Next time I will be discussing organizing your child’s chores. That is a very important part of child rearing. May you love your children by bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Part of that is directing their activities.
For questions or comments, you can contact me at candice@anastasihome.com